Food for thought - take out for one

Posted on 10 Oct 2018 @ 5:53pm by Lieutenant JG Cleopatra McCaine PhD & Cadet Senior Grade Ryth Th'Vhaanneth

1,362 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: M-15 Prison Planet
Location: Counsellor's Office
Timeline: Several hours after Interview With A Spy

[ON]

Cleo's office door chime sounded, and she checked her diary. NExt through that door should be Ryth Th'Vhaanneth, another andorian, no an Aenar. Unlike the XO however, this one was green about the gills, a cadet on his midshipman cruise. WEll, this should be fun. She liked the young ones. "Come in," she called out.

After pressing the chime for the counseler's office Ryth waited somewhat nervously by the door, not sure if he was more worried that she wouldn't be in and he couldn't get his interview out of the way or that she WOULD be there and he'd have to do it now.

At her call he flinched, taking a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside. Sensing where she was seated, his antannea oriented on her and he turned his head a second later, belatedly remembering that some people found it unnerving if he wasn't looking at them directly when he spoke.

"C-Cadet Senior Grade Th'Vaanneth, r-reporting for... for my e-evaluation, L-Lieutenant."

Cleo heard the stammer, and made a note to have on more civlian orientated clothing for future appointments with the young cadet. "There's no need to be nervous, cadet. And don't worry about rank. Inside this office, you can call me Cleo. WHat should I call you?"

Relaxing somewhat at the counselor's friendly tone, Ryth nodded and shifted on his feet slightly. "Yes Ma'am. I... I mean, Cleo. I m-mean...."

Shaking his head, the young Aenar took a deep breath, lowering his head briefly and visibly settling himself before returning his sightless gaze back to Cleo. "Ryth. You... you can call m-me Ryth."

"Ryth," She agreed. "Now, come in and take a seat. There's nothing to be nervous about. This is standard procedures when joining a ship. Is there anything you'ld like to ask before we begin?" She pointed him to one of the easy chairs, and sat back in her own, crossing one long leg over the other.

Moving to the indicated chair, he took a seat and briefly considered her question. There were a number of questions running through his mind, but his nerves were on edge and he couldn't get his thoughts marshaled well enough to form any of them into words, so he just shook his head.

"Alright. How about I start. Are you nervous?"

A small smile played across Ryth's face at that question as he nodded. "Yeah, you... you could s-say that. Brand n-new ship th-that's easily triple the... the size and t-ten times the complexity of anything I've fl-flown before.... Then you f-fill it full of p-people that I've n-never Seen. N-nervous seems a b-bit of an understatement."

Cleo considered his words. It was natural to be nervous under those circumstances, "What do you fear will happen?" Fears could be minimised and diffused if they could be discussed and analysed.

"I..." He paused, taking an extra moment to consider her question before replying softly, "Th-that I'll fail them..."

AH, the happy hot house of the Academy, with its competitive entrance, its sky high expectations and its ruthless standards. As much as it built people up, it could sow seeds of trouble for its talent down the way if issues like this weren't nipped in the bud hard. The question would be how to best handle the nervous young midshipman's very real concerns. "Fail?" Let's start with challenge. "How will you fail them? Are you planning to not do your best?"

"N-not hardly." Ryth replied, his antennae quivering in annoyance at the counselor's insinuation, "I h-have always g-given my... my all, Ma'am, and I pl-plan on continuing that... that habit here on th-the Phoenix."

"Slack on duty?"

"S-Same reply to the... the same qu-question, Ma'am."

"ignore everything you've been taught?"

"No!" He said sharply, the counselor's repeated insinuation that he would deliberately not perform his duty starting to get under his skin, "Th-this ship will get the v-very best I am capable of, just like the... the Woodrow did."

"So, given that you intend to give everything your best shot and have no plans to act in a fashion unbecoming of starfleet, how could you fail them.?" Mistakes were never failure, mistakes were learning experiences. Something young cadets often forgot. "And its cleo," she reminded him gently.

"I'm not w-worried about failing St-Starfleet, M-... Cleo," he said softly, temper settling down as the counselor changed tone, beginning to almost talk to himself. "I am g-going to do my best, but... but what if my b-best isn't enough? I've t-told them that nothing can stand in... in their way. Th-that they can do anything. B-but now that... that I am here? Wh-what if I fail?"

"If your best wasn't considered enough, you'd never be allowed to put on that uniform." Cleo pointed out. She wanted to dig a bit more see what was under that what if's. "What is failure? To you?"

The cadet sat silent for a few moments, considering the question before replying. "I d-didn't start out w-wanting to be a p-pilot. My path was g-going to... to be counseling. Do you w-want to know wh-why I switched, Cleo? It's the s-same reason I j-joined Starfleet t-to begin with. Someone t-told me I couldn't d-do it."

"I'm s-sure you already know this, but I am bl-blind. The whole Aenar race is, fr-from birth. The r-reason that I joined St-Starfleet was to sh-show my l-little sisters th-that it doesn't matter. We can't s-see like everyone else, but... but that doesn't mean w-we can't do anything they can. I ch-changed tracks t-to helmsman b-because another c-cadet made a j-joke about how it w-was a good thing I wasn't p-piloting the sh-shuttle or w-we'd fly into a st-star. My l-little sisters are c-capable of d-doing anything they put th-their minds to, and I WILL let them s-see that."

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head and continued. "To answer y-your question, Cleo. F-Failure to... to me, is letting my s-sisters down. G-giving any person something t-to point at and t-tell them 'See? Y-you can't do this, d-don't even try.' That is f-failure."

Well that said a lot. The pressure to be normal, to shed stigma. A terrible force. But he seemed a man determined to slay his dragons.
"I understand. But have you considered changing your point of reference? That the failure is not in trying and not succeeding, but in never trying in the first place. And by that standard, I doubt that you could ever fail."

Ryth shook his head, but even as he did, a small smile crossed his lips. "Th-That's a comforting thought, Cleo. I can't say th-that... that I agree with it, b-but it's as l-least worth considering."

"Good." and she meant it. "Because being flexible is the best way to avoid failure. However you measure it. Now," She smiled wanting to be reassuring, but not knosing if we would be able to sense it, falling back onto old standards. "As a cadet, I'll need to see you oncea month, but its only rourine. I've got no concerns."

With a small nod, the cadet straightened up and got to his feet.

"Y-you've given me some th-things to... to think about, Cl-Cleo," he said, the tone in her voice more then her words putting him at ease, "I'll s-see you n-next month."

Unsure whether to offer a salute or a handshake, he gambled on her insistence that her office was an informal area and extended his hand.

She stood up as well, and shook gladly. His skin was smooth and compared to most other humanoids, his touch fairly burned. Living in -30 to - 50 degrees celsius must give his people a ferocious metabolism. She held on for a second, and then let go, the air of her office feeling suddenly cool against her palm. "Good. I look forward to hearing your thoughts when we meet again

Ryth nodded and came to attention briefly. "Until th-then, L-Lieutenant," he said, stepping back into his more formal mindset before giving her a small, but grateful smile, and turning to step out of her office.

[OFF]


Cadet Senior Grade Ryth Th'Vhaanneth
Flight Control Officer

Lieutenant Cleopatra McCain
Counsellor

 

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