Getting Through

Posted on 11 Dec 2010 @ 1:03pm by Colonel Stadi Andrus

1,434 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: M6: Blood of the Innocent
Location: Holodeck/Lounge
Timeline: Current

It was Stadi's turn to deal with her own grief that seemed to be consuming her. She and Reva had parted ways after sharing their anger and sadness over the loss of not only Melanie but also Logan, Stadi's fiance. She left her lab in disarray and walked as quickly as her legs would carry her to the holodeck. Stadi wasn't prepared to let anyone see her cry, as far as she was concerned she had shed all her tears and wanted nothing more to do with grief.

"Computer, start program Andrus Alpha-01." She said, her voice cracking.

"Enter when ready." Came the response from the Computer.

She ran in and quickly covered the distance between the entrance to the stable where her horse was. She came upon his stall and smiled, tears streaming down her face. Windrider nuzzled her trying to comfort her.

Windrider had already been saddled so she lead him out of the stable and climbed up on his back. She pushed him hard, letting the wind envelope her and dry her tears on her cheeks but the tears never really went away. Stadi was unable to clear her head. She rode for what felt like hours before she turned and headed back to the stables.

She took her time grooming him before she said her goodbyes to her beloved horse.

Stadi turned out into the corridor and nearly walked into Don. "Oh! I'm sorry."

Don's mind was miles away and he caught Stadi to prevent her from falling. "Hey.... you ok?" he asked noticing that she had been crying. His emotional intelligence was probably disgustingly low, but her distress was obvious.

"Yes....no...oh hell I don't know anymore!" She replied fresh tears threatening her eyes again. "I was with Reva and she is taking Melanie's death hard. I know everyone is. I knew her too. Reva didn't want to talk about Melanie and her feelings she wanted to know about my past...Logan. I said I knew what she was going through and I told her about how I watched Logan slip away from me after he tried to protect me and the rest of the away mission. All the emotions I thought I had dealt with came back, like a raw wound and someone poured lemon juice on it." She looked up at him. "I am numb, I left the Aurora because it was too painful...and now can't feel anything but anger for myself (as pathetic as that is) because I don't feel anything about his death anymore. What kind of person does that make me? I can't feel anything for the man I loved after he died protecting me?!"

"Uh.... have you spoken to the Counselor about this?" he asked clumsily. Don was uncertain how to react. He liked the pretty Betazoid woman, but he was hopeless in situations like these. "I mean, it is good to get someone who knows what they are doing to give you a fresh perspective..." he added.

Stadi braced herself against the wall of the corridor and looked up at him. "I didn't mean to throw all this in your direction. I felt bombarded with everyone's emotions...everything seems so raw right now, which I know is to be expected. With all the emotions flying around it seems to have intensified my own. Riding didn't even seem to help me today. I went to see him already, he has put me on leave until further notice. I'm sorry...forgive me?" Stadi simply wanted to feel again, not the anger or sorrow, but she wanted to find some sort of happiness.

"That is ok," Don reassured her. "Just get better," he said as he assisted her to steady herself. It had to be rather serious for her to be placed on leave just when she had arrived on the ship. "Want a coffee or something?" he offered, not sure what to do really.

"That sounds great." She smiled up at him. They walked down the corridor in silence as Stadi collected her thoughts, she didn't want to cry anymore. She wanted to be happy again and as of this moment...she was determined to do so. After awhile she said, "Are you sure this wont be considered fraternizing with the crew?" Stadi laughed, teasing him. "Or shall we talk about my latest research so it isn't considered that?"

Don chuckled. "It is part of my job description to look after the crew and I often sit down with a crew member to catch up," he smiled "Not to worry about it at all," he reassured her.

"I was teasing you." She laughed as they walked down the corridor. Stadi was starting to like him and enjoy his company. She was tempted to link her arm in his but she wasn't sure how it would be received, instead she clasped her hands behind her back as they walked.

"I know.." Don chuckled. He was lad to see that her disposition was more relaxed and realized that she had an intoxicating laugh. On entering the lounge, Don indicated a chair for her, letting her sit down. "What can I get for you," he asked.

"Oh...something with strawberries." She smiled up at him as she sat down.

Don ordered her a traditoinal strawberries and cream dessert and grabbed a strong coffee for himself with a toasted cheese sandwich. He could just as well have lunch as well. He placed it in front of her and sat down himself. "I am glad that you seem better than just now..." he said with a smile as he took a sip of his coffee.

Stadi looked down at her dessert, letting her hair fall in around her so he couldn't see the tinge of pink that came to her face. She was completely embarrassed by her outburst earlier. "I am sorry about that." She finally looked up. "I haven't had to keep my mind closed for such a long time that when I came aboard and I felt the sadness and anger from those who knew Melanie I was bombarded....I let their emotions effect mine. It wont happen again sir."

"I can't imagine how that must feel, I can't even be bombarded with my own emotions, which aren't a lot in any case, but to feel those of others..." he just shook his head. "And it is ok, I am just glad you feel better now," he said.

"I usually keep my mind closed, unless I am out in the field, or if the Captain needs my telepathic abilities during a crisis or negotiations. I have reconstructed the walls in my mind so close out most of the 'noise'." Stadi dipped her finger lightly into the whipping cream and licked it off her finger. She liked the taste of real whip cream with vanilla. "I have been in the field for a long time since Logan and not around a whole lot of people. I will adjust." She smiled and picked up her fork.

Don watched the finger from the cream to her mouth and found it rather sexy, but said nothing, but smiled. "I am sure you will," he said. "how are you finding the Achilles so far?"

"I like it, being around a large group of people again. I miss the field but for now I can concentrate on my research until I have to go out in the field again." She smiled, ~I also really like the company I am in now.~ She thought to herself.

Don wasn't aware what she was thinking but the smile was charming though. "That good to hear. How have you met?" he asked interested, starting to eat his cheese sandwich.

"I've met Lieutenant Commander Lahtikah Phoenix-Patil, Reva Medhava and Wandella Kristere...and the counsellor, all of them seem nice...Wandella is a character." She laughed remember their outing.

"True," Don mused. "I don't know her that well, but she seems flamboyant, " Don remarked. He knew Tika rather intimately, but that was another story. "So you think you will settle in nicely here..." he asked.

"I think I will settle in just fine." Stadi flirted, dipping her finger back in the whipping cream and licked it off her finger.

That was so sexy, and Don shifted in his seat. Somehow he knew she was not the type that would appreciate his sense of relationship. But a friend, most definitely. She was sweet and charming and rather beautiful, making his aware of his own *short comings*.

OFF

Commander Donovan Killian
XO

&

Lt. JG Stadi Andrus
Alien Archaeologist/Anthropologist

 

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