Emotions

Posted on 07 Dec 2010 @ 12:09pm by Captain Reva Madhava & Colonel Stadi Andrus

1,112 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: M7: Shore Leave - Mercer Colony
Location: Science Labs
Timeline: Current

Reva was still in a dark mood, one unaided by her failed attempt to rile LT.Commander Phoenix-Patil. She was doing her best to not let that mood show on her face. She wasn't, however, doing anything about letting it show in how she treated one particular crewman, one who just happened to have the misfortune of having a crush on the green-skinned Ensign. "Not there, Evan," Reva sighed, implying that her next words, if she had spoken them, would have been: "Are you an idiot?" Instead, she said, "Over there, in Lab Three. The box is clearly marked 'Andrus'." Frowning, she watched him lug the heavy box to the other lab. A moment later, she followed the box.

Stadi was in her lab searching for the last of her boxes. She looked up to see a man coming in with her box. "There it is!" She replied excited it but her smile faded as she felt the dark cloud of emotion coming towards her. "Just put it there please." She tried to smile at Evan and watched another officer come into the lab.

"Hello." She said neutrally.

Managing a small smile, Reva nodded and greeted the officer, "Hi. Lieutenant Andrus? Welcome to the Achilles. I'm Reva Madhava." She sounded reasonably welcoming, though that dark cloud continued to hover just out of sight. "It seems that Evan misdelivered your box to me," she checked out Stadi's workspace as she spoke, "Whats your speciality?"

"Archaeology and Anthropology." She replied and watched the man leave the lab. Stadi slammed her mind shut from the constant bombardment of Reva's own emotions. "Are you alright? I know I probably shouldn't ask but...your emotions..."

Brought up short by the mild rebuke in Stadi's words, Reva better schooled her own mental walls to contain her dark cloud. "Sorry, it happens when I'm irritated and looking for a place to vent some anger," she nearly mumbled the words, briefly thinking of Antonio and wondering whether he'd help her... No, she had tried that avenue once and he'd shut her down... Waving the fingers of one hand in the air, she shrugged, "I'll get it worked out one way or another. Where did you come here from?" She meant to deflect the conversation away from her and onto the newcomer.

Sadness filled Stadi's eyes, she knew she would have to answer questions of her past, she thought she was prepared for it but in reality she wasn't. "USS Aurora." The sadness was gone as quick as it had come. "You can talk to me if you like..." Stadi had an idea that it had to do with Melanie. They had known each other through Jana on DS5.

Reva wasn't so completely self-centered that she didn't pick up on Stadi's wave of sadness; she felt it and filed it away for future digging. She liked knowing where other people's bones were buried. In the present, though, she had a choice: she could treat Stadi's offer flippantly ("Well, I am talking to you...") or somewhat seriously. Reva chose the latter: "I'm still processing the whole 'watching a crewmate turn to ash' thing. If you ever have the opportunity to do so, don't. Don't watch, don't turn to ash. Both sides of that coin rather suck."

Stadi reached out and touched Reva's shoulder. "No one, Starfleet or not, should ever experience what you and Lt. Hemmingway went through. Someone that was very dear to me was murdered in front of my eyes. I know the pain that you are suffering from seeing your colleague die. I knew her too, she was a friend of mine. I know she would of done everything in her power to shield you from that because that was just the type of person she was. Don't bottle your emotions up, let them out, you will end up bitter and angrier than had you simply let yourself grieve."

An edge of anger slipped out from Reva's wall; she knew the woman was trying to be helpful, but... "Grieve? I'm not grieving! I barely knew the woman! I'm angry at her for getting her--." Eyes wide, Reva stopped mid-word. Tears would be the next thing to come and she didn't want to burden this new person with that - Reva hadn't even cried with the counselor. "Excuse me, Lieutenant, I'm sure you have work to do...," she said.

"Reva..." Stadi said gently. "You are angry with her for getting herself killed. I understand that, I was angry with Logan too when he was killed. It is perfectly natural to be angry when something like this happens. You do not have to leave. Let me help you...I have been in your place not so long ago."

Innate curiosity forestalled her tears. "Logan? Tell me about Logan."

Stadi smiled sadly at the younger woman. "Logan was a marine and I was the science officer aboard the Aurora. We had met at the Academy and we were inseparable from the moment we met. He was my everything...he had taken me dog sledding in the Yukon during the break and he proposed to me under the stars and northern lights. We were lucky enough to be assigned to the same ship. We were both sent on an away mission, he and his partner were escorting the two shuttlecrafts, I was on one of them. We were all shot down...I don't know who did it....his craft crashed about a kilometre from where I was and somehow he made it to me." Stadi took a deep breath, her own tears threatening to spill. "He found us, in the condition he was in he shouldn't of even moved and yet he found us. He died in my arms a few hours later. The rescue shuttles were too late."

"I'm so sorry," Reva offered. At least for her, the person she'd witnessed die had been a relatively unknown person - not her "everything". Humbled, Reva quashed her anger for the moment and, for once, thought of someone else: "If you need to talk about that, let me know. You know... during non-duty hours...." She smiled ruefully at her own awkwardness.

"Reva...don't worry about me. I'll be alright. I am more worried about you." She smiled sympathetically.

Reva's smile turned brighter by a shade. "I'll be fine, Stadi, thanks. But I have a friend to visit," she said, turning toward the door. Looking back, she asked, "We'll talk later?"

Stadi nodded, "of course, come by my quarters later and we can have a drink and talk then."

OFF

Lt. JG Stadi Andrus
Archaeologist/Anthropologist
USS Achilles

Ensign Reva Madhava
Science Officer
USS Achilles

 

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