To Join or not to Join

Posted on 06 Feb 2010 @ 8:15am by Commodore Da`nal of the House of Varal & Colonel Nelle Skykin

1,156 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: M3: Shore Leave
Location: Science Lab

Jessica almost threw the padd across the shop she was in. They had gone way to this time, way way to far. Her parents had used their position to get her appoved with the symbiosis commission; all she had to do was say yes and head back to Trill and begin her training. The thing was...she didn't want to be joined. Slipping the padd into the bag she carried fron her shopping she looked up the ships new Science Officer. She needed to talk to someone and who better than someone, someone's actually, who had been through it.

Skykin slowly tipped a tube of murky brown liquid onto a small glass shard then placed it under her microscope. She was in the science lab testing various substances for toxic atoms. She had been there for a few hours already.

Approaching the lab she took care. The last time she walked into a science lab she startled the tech and the resulting spill landed both of them in sickbay. She pressed the chime and waited to be allowed to enter.

Skykin's eyes flickered up from her study, "Enter" she called out to the unknown guest.

"Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if we talked a moment." Brushing a few loose hairs back over her ear. "It's kinda personal."

Skykin stood up straight and looked at the young trill, "Certainly" she replied with a reassuring smile, "Is everything alright?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No." She stepped in and took a seat next to the lieutenant. "It's my parents. They want me to be joined and they have used their position to get me apporved. Though they didn't say it, I know they expect me to accept and head back to Trill."

Skykin looked down at Jessica thoughtfully, "Tea?" She asked. It was force of habit, whenever someone came to her with problems she always offered them tea. "Sorry, its a habit" she smiled kindly.

Not exactly the reply she had ben expecting but she accepted with a smile. "Sure." Perhaps she expected their little talk to last a while.

Nelle nodded and turned to the replicator, she returned moments later, tea in hand, and pulled up a stool beside the young trill. Handing the cup to her Nelle spoke, "So, your parents want you to join? I'm going to assume they have joined already too?" she asked

Jess shook her head, "No, either of them were accepted. That's why they tried so hard to get me
accepted. The thing is...I don't think I want to. I had a close friend get joined and afterwards she seemed a totally new person. I know that in a way that's true, but...." She put her face in her hands, "I don't know what to do..."

Skykin put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "Its normal for most Trill to be nervous about joining. But its a decision that you have to make yourself. Not your friends, not your parents, you." Skykin smiled warmly and remembered, "I didn't have the pleasure of making a decision, the responsibility of the oldest symbiont's life was thrust into my hands. no training, no preparation, nothing. But I would do it all again." She paused for a moment, "And your worried that you will change as a person, well thats going to happen, I can't lie, but even if you don't join you are going to change as a person though the years anyway with experiences and lifestyle choices. Change is unavoidable. But sometimes its for the better." She concluded.

It was true that change was inevitable, but it didn't make things easier. "But I didn't even wnat to apply. It would be one thing if I had but...they want me to so badly I had to and once I made it into Startfleet the pushed even more. All they talk about is how proud they were and how much more proud they would be once I was joined. I know to be selected is a huge honor but was I selected because I deserved it or because of some maneuvering of my parents?"

"I see where your coming from" Nelle thought for a moment, "I think its definitely something to think about, no one is forcing this decision on you, and your parents will love you no matter what... its in their job description" She joked.

That brought a smile to her face. "I know. I just wish thet would stop trying to live through me you know. If you don't mind me asking, what is it like?"

Nelle had to think about her answer, "Its like... Waking up from a dream, with more knowledge, and more skills. And most importantly, a new appreciation for life."

"But the changes, wasn't it confusing? I mean it had to be. Didn't you find yourself doing things without realizing it at first? How did you know what was you and what was from the symbiont's past?"

"I didn't" Nelle answered truthfully, "It was a long struggle with feelings and emotions that I couldn't understand, but it soon came together. Plus having a few 'old' friends that the past hosts had known around was very comforting."

"See...that's the thing I just can't get used to. The idea of another beings thoughts, not to mention the memories of every previous host, merging with mine. I guess I'm just afraid that I'll lose myself."

"Thats very natural to think that" Nelle said "Its definitely something to think about. But it can also be very rewarding, and helpful. For example, I was taken hostage a while back by a group of rouge borg. Disconnected from the hive. If it wasn't for the past hosts, Delna's, combat skills and Grisma's quick thinking... I don't think I would be here today. But its not like the new skills just appear, you have to work on them to really make them perfect." Nelle concluded.

Now Jess was more confused. At first she was ready to stand up to her parents and tell them to stop liveing through her. Now she was actually considering going through with it. Was there a way she could do both? She had a lot o think about. She stood slowly, "thank you Ma'am, you've given me alot of answers and alot to think about. I don't want to take up any more of your time"

"Not at all, feel free to come and talk when you feel like it" Nelle said and stood with her, "Its a pleasure to help out" she smiled warmly.

She returned the smile. "Thank you." Jess turned and headed back into the corridor. The thought occurred they could be sisters. It was good to have someone she could talk to. Right now she had some people to contact on Trill.



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PO1 Jessica Logan
Operations
- played by Chris

Lt Nelle Skykin
Chief of Science

 

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