Gloves off, literally and figuratively

Posted on 05 Jun 2024 @ 5:33pm by Captain Ricardo (Rico) Montoya & Lieutenant Commander Aiden MacMahon

2,276 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: M-18 The Past is Future
Location: Gym / XO's quarters
Timeline: After Granger incident

ON:

By the time Aiden had completed his duties, made sure that Tavana was settled in the guest quarters and now sound asleep, it was already quite late. Tavana was quite disappointed that she could not return with her crew but that was not what disturbed him. Speaking to Tavi brought memories to the surface. He tended to focus on what he enjoyed on his tour on the VaQbach as he learned in therapy, but now less pleasant memories were right there, in the forefront of his mind and he didn't really want them there.

Old feelings threatened to come back, feelings that would let him spiral out of control. He needed alcohol, but instead of immediately giving in to impulse, he got dressed in his tracksuit and went to the gym. There he found a boxing bag and started pounding it relentlessly, rhythmically and with precision, alternating between kicking and punching it. He had no gloves on, but he didn't care. He hardly felt it when his knuckles started to bleed, he just kept going as if he wanted to break the bag, his initial control deteriorating.

Rico entered the gym to get in a little weight training, but he immediately noticed his exec pounding away at the heavy bag. There was little or no technique to his efforts, making it was clear that this was a venting session. Moving in he took hold of the bag to steady and allow him to narrow his focus.

It took a while for Aiden to register someone was holding the bag after which he regained the control he initially had over the assault on the bag. Eventually he stopped, the only reason was that he was exhausted. Grabbing a bottle of water and a towel he wiped his face. "Thank you Captain," he said, grimacing and breathing hard as his body tried to get as much oxygen as possible into this body.

"Any time." Nodding to his exec's bloody knuckles, "You know they have gloves available for this...something bothering you?"

Aiden was going to give a standard answer to a standard question under the circumstances, but when he looked at Montoya, he actually saw that the question was sincere. He looked at this knuckles and scoffed at himself. They were going to ache. He sighed and grimaced as he looked up. "You have some time? I wanted to discuss something with you anyway."

Stepping around from behind the bag. "Always."

A few minutes later they were in Aiden't quarters as it was closest to the gym, a pizza replicated and a beer each. Aiden took sip of his beer trying to think where and how to start. This would be the first time in a very long time talking about it. He inspected his knuckles which were now making their painful presence known. "I didn't really plan this conversation," Aiden said with sidewards scoff. My gut says that I need to tell you about the gaps in my file and the file of the other person I want to discuss."

Finishing off his current slice of pizza he wiped his mouth and fingers, leaning back with his beer. He had a feeling he was in for a long story. "Go on."

"I know that a few Captains and officers were read in on the unofficial mission of the VaQbach and I saw your name on the list. So I know that you know that we were sent look for evidence of a connection between certain 'elements' of Romulans and the Kzinti. The intel we were to investigate was that the Romulans, unofficially of course, were assisting them to re-establish a foothold in the Beta Quadrant, and to build bases along trade routes close to vital Klingon and Federation resources. And we needed to verify if they planned another assault. That would be very dangerous, seeing that we had no answer to their weapons, and giving them a decade or two, they could win a war. Apart from that, they breed very fast."

Rico listened intently. It had been a long time since the Kzinti conflict and the mop up operations that the VaQbach had conducted; operation not condoned by the Federation. Admiral, well now, Lord Da`nal was the real expert on the Kzinti as he had been the one to plan the counter offensive that turned the tide.

"What you wouldn't know is that the intel proved to be spot on, and the second phase was given a go-ahead: Seek and destroy. And destroy we did. We found several bases, even as near is the Gatamar system. Kretorg was the right man for the job having been in the war. I mean, he was relentless and ruthless. He hated them deeply enough to not have a thread of mercy. It paid off. They were building weapon's depots, production facilities, breeding stations, the works. Most of these were still being built, but some were already complete and we destroyed them all. In fact , the next stop in Kretorg's mind was their homeworld, which, as far as I know, may not have been sanctioned. He even gave us the opportunity to leave, but before anything could happen, the VaQbach disappeared." Aiden paused, finishing his beer and opening another. He nearly downed it before he continued. Obviously this part had been easy to talk about.

Rico leaned in as things got more serious. "An attack on the Kzinti home world would most definately not been sanctioned. Their local facilities had been wiped out and retooled to help rebuild Starbase 24. And there was a large Federation/Klingon occupation force there. Hell, there is still a Federation contingent on the planet. But go on."


"Yeah, no one was thinking straight. We saw terrible things, but the last two...." Aiden said and shook his head as he found courage to continue. He swallowed hard and forced himself to push on reliving the experience with great difficulty, often pausing to gather himself. "They were research facilties. I knew the Kzinti were unlike any enemy we had encountered, but I never could understand the hatred Kretorg and some of the others who experienced the war until then. We were on a recon mission and I ended up in a vent that gave me a view of a large room. I have seen how they kept their females in cages and some of how they feed, but I was not prepared at all for that moment. I remember the smell first, blood, excrement, decay. Then the sounds. Unearthly screaming and moaning. It took a while for me to register that those were not Kzinti sounds, but humanoid. Then I saw it. The room was well-lit. There was blood on the floor and to my left, there was a heap of descarded waste. As I looked closer, which I shouldn't have done, I saw what, or who were on that pile. Discarded body parts of people. including Romulans. And bodies. Not all of them were even dead. There was a women of a race we met a week before, the Uvellii. The top of her skull was removed part of her brain and I it looked like her arms were also removed, but she was still alive and just thrown there. There was another person with his liver and intestines next to him, also still alive. It also dawned on me that that was what they fed the females. You know, sometimes you brain won't allow you to process things you see immediately".

"That I had seen reports on. They were curious as to how humanoid females were sentient while theirs were not. If memory serves they had captured women during the conflict to study and experiment on."


"There were men as well. I remember that all I could think of was to end to end their misery. I was going to shoot them, but I was transported out before I could. Then I understood the hatred. I wasn't going to turn around either. I was going to get to their homeworld and kill every Kzinti I saw. All I did was train and eat and sleep. I didn't think, I couldn't wait for the next opportunity to rid the universe of the scum.

"But I started to have problems, couldn't sleep, panic attacks, intrusive memories of what I saw. I knew what it was, but I didn't want to be sidelined, because we already heard of the next target. So a friend told me about Lethanol. It was not made for humans, but it had good side effects. It made you calm and hyperalert. What more do you want? Right?"

Rico was about to comment but decided to let him finish. Sipping from his beer instead.

"Two weeks later we found a similar structure and I was ready to go. It was a military structure and we planted our explosives and were ready to leave. But then I heard something again, crying and moaning. By then we knew how those vents were structured so I found the source quickly. This time I didn't have such a good angle. So I could smell and hear, but my vision was obscured by something in front of the vent opening. Then it was dragged away. It was a child, Captain, dragged by her leg. She was alive, but in shock. This time I got out of the vent and apparently I shot everything that moved, holding that little girl. I was shot twice before my team arrived on scene and they stunned me to get me and the girl to safety. I can't remember much.

"After that, the only thing that kept me marginally sane was that the little girl got reunited with her parents and that we destroyed the last of their bases on our route. The VaQbach needed repairs and myself and the Assistant Intel Chief, the Diplomatic Chief and a support team went to Tacadia to negotiate, and that was when the VaQbach disappeared in an attack from a rival system nearby. During the search, I ran out of Lethanol and the PTSD was back in full swing. Alcohol helped but I was hooked on the Lethanol. I got hold of it on the black market and kept using. During a psych eval a sharp counselor called me out. He diagnosed PTSD formally and put on a therapy schedule with medication. I didn't tell him about the Lethnol though, but it came out in a blood test. It was only because of him and a previous CO that my career didn't end. I got treatment and fortunately it was relatively easy to get the Lethanol out of my system."

"After that I went to the Academy and you know the rest. That brings me to the other thing. Lt Tavana Kelan of the House of Torath and Kretorg's daughter was the Intel Officer that went with me that time. She is young, but she has more experience than many Intel officers have had in a lifetime and experienced a war. I want to recommend her for the Strat Ops post."

Downing the last of his beer he sat it on the coffee table between them. "I had almost stopped you there for a moment. The reports on your troubles, counseling, treatments are a matter of record...but I figured you needed to vent and get things out in the open, from your perspective. The other thing I also saw was the letter of support from that Commanding Officer you mentioned.

"Not everyone has a smooth and uneventful career. You most certainly had not, and you were exposed to things that you probably weren't ready for. Actually, I don't think anyone is truly prepared for that type of things you experienced.
The thing is you faced those demons, at first you dealt with them as best you could, but fortunately you got proper treatment. I never would have approved your assignment here had I thought you couldn't handle it. I don't expect you or anyone else to be perfect."

"Good to know Captain, you certainly must like a challenge."

A smile spread across his face. "A very experienced man once told me, 'If you're not making mistakes...you're not learning."

"Not many would see it that way," Aiden said. "I haven't spoken about this for years," he said, rubbing his knuckles scoffing at himself. "Meeting Tavana again brought it all back and if I didn't talk about it, it may pull me down that hole again. At least you can keep me on a tight leash if you have to," he said downing his beer. "Will you consider Tavana?"

"I'll keep an eye on ya, and if you need to talk or my door is always open. As for Tavana, I will. But first you go get those hands taken care of."

"Maybe that is not a bad idea." H chuckled by now his knuckles were swollen and Aiden was certain he cracked a few of said knuckles and shif ting in his seat. He certainly hoped that talking about it would prevent him from losing the tenuous grip on the PTSD he fought so hard to gain. For once he did the right thing without thinking about it too much. If he did, he probably wouldn't have opened his mouth.

Standing he looked down, "Good. Then I will leave you to it...and next time...wear gloves."

"Now you tell me...." Aiden said as he got up to see the Captain out and get to sick bay. "Have a good night, Captain."


OFF


Capt. Ricardo Montoya
CO

Lt Cmdr Aiden MacMahon
XO

 

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