Confessions

Posted on 10 Jun 2009 @ 5:13pm by

2,602 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: M2: Aggressive Negotiations
Location: Chief Science Officer's Quarters

It was strange how Mari had come to feel so close to the counselor so quickly. She wasn't sure what to think of the fact that he was the first one who had come to mind to talk to about the latest developments in her career.

Hesitating only briefly, she contacted him from the console in her new quarters and, when his face was on screen, she gave a bit of a tired smile and said, "Termin, may I come see you por un ratito? I...need to talk."

Elek was surprised, but didn't let it show. He'd just come off-duty when he'd received Mari's message, but didn't say anything - a counselor and a diplomatic officer could work all hours ... and so did a friend. He had already made his feelings clear for her, but would much rather have Mari as a friend than as nothing at all.

"Of course," he replied. "I'll be right there."

He left his quarters and headed for her new quarters. He had, of course, received the recent memo regarding the change in her position, and realised that might be what she wanted to talk about. He was worried about her - she clearly bore a lot on her shoulders, he could feel that, and he wondered how the additional weight of the change might affect her.

The beautiful Latina woman was pacing her quarters when she heard the chime sound. She wasn't sure which was giving her more nerves: the change in position or seeing Termin de nuevo. Stopping in front of the door, she touched the wall to open it herself, finding herself immediately confronted with the object of at least some of her thoughts. Seeing him, she gave a small, forced smile and said, "Bienvenido. Come in, come in..."

"Thank you," said Elek with an easy smile.

He had immdiately dismissed all of his concerns and worries to the back of his mind, with a vow to keep an open mind and ear. He had ensured that his body language was neutral, yet relaxed, and he had already decided to let Mari lead the conversation, at least to start with - to see where she wanted to go, and what she wanted to talk about.

"Can I get you something? Te, cafe?" she asked, the manners she'd grown up with showing through in spite of her nerves.

Elek nodded. "A Tarkelian fruit tea would be perfect, thank you." He always accepted the offer of a drink, if only to try and set the other person at ease.

He watched her walk to the replicator, and felt the nerves emanating from her. A frown briefly crossed his face, as his concern for her deepened, but was quickly replaced with his smile as she turned back.

He didn't quite manage to change his countenance quickly enough and this time Mari gave him a genuine, although weary, smile as she handed him the tea, "I saw that..." she said, "You do not need to worry about me, although I appreciate that you do."

Elek shrugged - he'd been found out, there was nothing he could do about it now. "You're my friend, Mari, of course I worry." He accepted the cup from her and smiled his thanks.

Taking a sip, he leaned back in his chair, but was careful to stay silent.

She, too, took a seat, holding her tea and blowing on it softly but not yet taking a drink. She watched him for a few long moments before she finally said, "Obviously you know about my change in positions. What do you think about it?" she asked.

"What do you think about it?" he asked. "You're the one who's had the change in quarters. The quartermaster must love you."

She smirked and shrugged, saying simply, "I know next to nothing about science. The commander seems to think that with my leadership skills, I won't need to..."

"Like I said when we first met, Command wouldn't have placed you here if they didn't have confidence in you. And Commander Da'nal must have faith in you - he could simply have had you reassigned to another ship. Instead, he's kept you as one of his trusted senior officers."

"Hmmm..." Mari commented noncommittally before saying, "I negotiated to retain a presence in command...second officer at least..." she paused, quiet for a few moments before she shook her head and added, "At least if I find it's not for me, I can go do what I've been wanting to do anyway, verdad?" Her dark eyes were watching him carefully for his response, wondering if he'd be upset if she left.

"If that's what you genuinely feel is right for you," Elek replied. He looked down and stared at his tea. "I would be ... supportive of whatever you decided." He took a breath and looked back up, directly into Mari's eyes. "But I would hope that you would stay."

"Would you miss me?" she asked with an air that was both curious and flirtatious, her eyes still studying him. She had had much time to think about her past and about him and had resolved several issues within herself but now, now she needed to be sure of him...and them.

"Yes," he replied simply, "I would."

Elek was cautious in his reply, because of the incident on the holodeck. He didn't want to embarrass himself again, and he remembered that Mari had pulled away. He was worried that she would be vulnerable now, given her recent position change, and he didn't want to take advantage of her emotional state.

"You would leave a ... void on this ship that couldn't be filled," he said. "And with me, as well."

"Me mientas, Termin," Mari said, a scolding expression on her face, "You lie. You are the only one on this ship that I have more than a passing acquaintance with," she paused, saying softly, "If I were to leave, I would miss you as well," then she confessed, "I threatened the captain with leaving if he did not at least make me 2XO, but even as I stood my ground, I was inwardly wavering. It was then that I realized how much I would miss you."

Elek smiled. "Well ... I'm grateful, Mari, I truly am. I value your friendship already, even though we haven't known each other that long. Whatever else has happened recently that I was able to embarrass myself with, I'd hate to lose your friendship."

"You should not have been embarrassed," Mari said bluntly, "The problem was mine, not yours...and...I have now come to terms with my past. I do not wish to allow it to keep me from all good things."

Elek was surprised, but pleased. "I'm glad to hear that," he said. "Remembering your past can be a life-affirming to do, but when it turns negative, you must find a way to exorcise the parts that are causing you pain, and move past them."

Nodding, Mari studied him several moments more before saying quietly, "I realized that I was doing the same that was done to me. I left home at sixteen, disgraced and disowned...to be with the love of my life. We were going to explore the galaxies together," she explained, "He tired of me and left me stranded. That is when I entered Starfleet. I was determined to find a way to do what he and I had planned, with or without him."

"I'm glad you've recognised that cycle of behaviour," Elek said. "Only you can break away from that but, once you do, you can often feel such a sense of release, knowing that you suddenly have so many options."

"Si, es cierto," Mari said with a nod, "He hurt me, badly. I gave up my family for him and that was how he treated me. When he left, I tried to speak to them, to go home...but they closed the link on me. I have been on my own ever since, being a butterfly, flitting away from all who might care."

"You're not alone now," Elek said quietly. "I can't make up for the hurt of the past, but you're not alone any more."

He hadn't meant to say it - this was, after all, Mari's time to talk, but it had just blurted out.

Leaning forward, she put her tea down on the table and reached for his hand, saying with an appreciative smile, "I know."

Elek took her hand in his and returned the smile. "It's ok," he said. "You can talk to me, you know? If you need to ... I'm an El-Aurian after all!"

"You se. I just hadn't decided before if I should but if you are going to be in my life, then you should know at least the basics of what has shaped me and that, you now know," she responded, hoping he would understand what she was going to say next, "More than that, however, I do not wish to speak about. I have moved on. There is no reason to dredge up old wounds that cannot be healed."

"I understand," Elek replied. "The past is gone, and you can't change it. Having lived over 600 years, you learn that lesson fast." He hesitated. "I do find, though, that long life can ... disturb some people. I'd hope it doesn't disturb you?"

"It's...a novelty..." Mari answered slowly, squeezing his hand and adding with a smile, "Nunca have I known someone like you, entonces, I do not know if it disturbs me or not. It is simply...difficult to wrap my mind around."

Elek laughed. "I've heard that before. Outside, I look 35. If it helps, just think of me as that age. We'll work up to the 600 bit in stages."

"35," she repeated with a grin, "35 I can understand. Even 600 is not the part that I find most difficult," she paused before continuing, hoping again that he would understand, "It is the three deceased wives that give me trouble," she confessed but then explained further, "Not necessarily the fact that they existed...but that I could simply become another in a line of others...that you will go on after I cease to exist and would find another to steal your heart."

Elek hesitated. "Actually, it's 11 times," he confessed. "I don't know if that's the right thing to say or not. Probably not." He grimaced. "Sorry."

His remorse touched her and she did not draw back from him but neither did she say anything, either. Instead, she remained silent, digesting this information and waiting for him to tell her more of his story.

He sighed. "You see, yes, I've been married those 11 times, and seven have predeceased me. But, Mari, I swear to you, I married each time for love, but no-one has ... captured my heart quite so suddenly, and quite so well, as you have." He laughed. "Wow, that's the corniest thing I've ever heard! I'm only half-El-Aurian, but I can expect to live for at least another four, five hundred years. The only thing I can promise you is that I know, with a certainty that only comes with being 572 years old, that I will *never* find anyone like you again. That much I guarantee."

Somehow, those words were more reassuring to her than she had expected and she found herself taking a deep breath, saying, "It is my difficulty with...abandonment...that has made me hesitate. I was fooled once before into believing that I was significant, that the universe began and ended with me," she smiled sadly and shrugged, saying, "It may be naive but at times I would still like to believe that. I am a butterfly, free and flitting about...but I also want a place to call home and someone to come home to," she admitted, her words getting quieter as she spoke.

Elek shook his head. "I will make you a promise," he said quietly. "I won't promise you that everything ends with us. But I would promise that our world, you and me, would end with you. I would allow you the freedom to be that butterfly, but always be here when you come home."

She still wasn't sure she liked the idea. Regardless of her outward appearance and confidence in her own abilities, she had a lack of confidence in self that often was missed by others. However, she did not want to miss this opportunity with Elek. She felt a connection with him that she'd felt with no other and, strengthening her resolve, she said with a brave half-smile, "Pues...when I am gone, I will not know to be upset, verdad? I will try to think of it that way..."

"Good," he said, "I'm glad."

Elek's empathic senses reached out and probed at just the edges of Mari's mind. He could feel differing emotions - a willingness to explore their mutual affection, as well as a nervousness and a ... less than perfect opinion of herself. He subtly sent out a small mental signal of support.

"I'm glad you called me."

"Yo tambien," Mari smiled softly, but something was still bothering her. If she could just put words to it..."Termin," she began, pronouncing his name as if it were a Spanish one, "I...do not want you to simply 'be here' when I get back if I choose to fly away. I..." she paused, searching his face, wondering how he would respond, "I would want you to go with me." She wasn't sure if she needed to explain but, to her, home was not a place, or at least, it wasn't merely one simple location. It was wherever she felt at home, appreciated and accepted. This was the first time in more than ten years that she had felt that and she did not want to give it up, even for her wanderlust.

Elek leaned back in his chair, in surprise. That, he hadn't expected. He hadn't been in Starfleet that long, but he enjoyed it ... before that, his work in the diplomatic corps and in psychiatry had taken him to new and exciting places, but right now, Starfleet was his career, and he loved it.

"I ..." He stopped, as he realised he was considering it. This woman, who he hadn't known five minutes, actually had him considering it.

He gave a wan smile. "I won't know the answer to that one until it happens, I think," he confessed to her. "But if you were anyone else, I would have dismissed it out of hand already. So I'm ready to keep an open mind over that ... wherever that takes us."

Her face lit up with a pleased grin that she could not contain, nodding as she said, "That is all I ask," then, impulsively, as if somehow 'set free' by his willingness to think about what she'd said, she stood, leaned close to him, and planted a soft, chaste kiss on his lips, murmuring, "Gracias, Termin."

Elek smiled. "No ... thank *you*, Mari." He squeezed her hand and admired the beauty of her face, as she was still close to him.

Taking her seat once more, the beauty studied him thoughtfully before asking, "And now? Where do we go from here?"

"We think about today," Elek replied. "And worry about tomorrow when it happens." He got up and moved over to Mari's sofa.
Sitting, he took her hand in his.

She smiled and held his hand between both of hers, resting her head on his shoulder, "We think about today."


Lt (JG) Termin Elek
CDO / Counselor

Lt Mariposa Hernandez Rodriguez
CSci

 

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